Share YOUR Story

Just kicked off a sermon series called Scars (read more here, listen here), and as we go through the Book of Psalms, we've been invited people at Lifehouse Church East to share their Scar Stories.

And that's what we're inviting you to share. Go to scar-stories.com, and browse others' stories and share yours.

We all have scars. And we all have scar stories. A fall. A fight. An accident. A surgery. They tell of antics and heroics, tragedies and near-misses, adventure, stupidity. These stories become more dramatic as time distances us from the pain of the moment; we almost relish retelling a good scar story by enhancing it with sound effects, emotion and animation.

There are, however, other scar stories. These are the stories we avoid telling and revealing, stories of deep, internal scars that still evoke pain, fear, worry, regret, shame or guilt. Unlike most physical scars, these scars never quite heal. Their sting remains and the wound re-opens unexpectedly. Just when we think we are over it, something can trigger the event. And “WHAM!” We are back in that dark moment of depression, grief, devastation, or doubt.

These stories leave us feeling alone and isolated, and we tell ourselves that no one could ever understand what we’ve been through. We tell ourselves, “I’ll never recover. God isn’t here for me, and even if he is, He doesn’t care about me.” But Isaiah 53:5 declares, “By his wounds we were healed.” Yes, past tense. God’s story intersected with our story, and Jesus’ scars healed our scars. He offered healing before we even experienced the wound.

However, in the church, many of us prefer to act like we have it all together, like there aren’t festering wounds and haunting fears deep in our heart. Like the waiting room of the ER, the church is a triage center for spiritual and emotional brokenness. The members act like doctors so others won’t see their need for the Great Physician. But let me expose the brutal reality- we ALL have our scar stories. We ALL need Jesus!

In 2010, the members of Lifehouse Church East began to publicly share their scar stories with each other, and found healing, hope, and comfort. People began to realize they were not alone. They realized that many people have walked through a similar scar story, and for those still struggling with doubt, fear, depression, or darkness, they could find encouragement from those who walked the path before them.

We pray this website will be a place where you can find encouragement and healing as you walk through your own scar story. Browse other people’s stories or perhaps consider sharing your own. Allow yourself to be honest. Admit that you’ve struggled, doubted, and suffered. Be transparent, be vulnerable, and believe that Jesus’ scars can, have, and will heal your scars.

So what’s your scar story?

Lesson #9 from 2010 WARNING: CONTROVERSIAL

Most people HATE conflict, in fact, they have conflict with conflict.

Lesson learned: conflict isn't bad. How we handle conflict is either good or bad, but conflict itself is an opportunity for growth or reveals an area where we need to grow.

I've taught this since we launched Lifehouse, and often challenge our leaders to NOT avoid conflict but to handle it biblically. 2010 was a year when my conviction to hold to this biblical stance was seriously tested.

Here are my personal reasons why I didn't want to deal with conflict, (then I'll share how I overcame them):

• dealing with conflict felt scary and uncomfortable,
• was afraid a person wouldn't like me if I address a reason for tension,
• didn't want to lose a friend, and thought, "if I address this issue, they won't want to be my friend anymore". I know, it sounds like I'm a kindergartner, does it? But it's how you think, too.
• it takes too much time and energy. Time better spent elsewhere,
• it'll go away on it's own, and if I bring it up, it will get worse,
• what if I'm not "right"?
• what if dealing with conflict reveals a weakness in me?

How I've grown and overcome some of these challenges:

• deal with conflict quickly, before it becomes "cancerous" and destructive, both to relationship and the church,
• give people the benefit of the doubt,
• don't believe second-hand info, but let people share their thoughts first-hand,
• avoid my personal insecurities and fears from debilitating me by trusting God and getting over myself,
• recognize that I still have a lot to learn and that God will use conflict to grow me (this one is hard to learn and hurts the most),
• unresolved tension grows destructive, so deal with it headed on and often until it's resolved,
• allow people time to think and grow. Don't demand immediate resolution.
• conflict might take a lot of time, but it takes less time on the front end than if left unresolved. Eventually, it will become all-consuming and a massive drain on your time.
• Even when we disagree, people are still precious to God and should be loved and treated with value.
• I LOVE those with whom I've had conflict. Even when things don't turn out like I wanted, they may not even know it but I regularly PRAY for them and think of them often. I wouldn't address issues of conflict if I didn't care. 
• God heals and brings the ultimate reconciliation in relationships. If things can't be resolved, we must turn it over to God.
• When we receive forgiveness from God, we MUST give forgiveness to and ASK forgiveness of others.

This was a very raw and personal approach to conflict. Listen to a sermon I preached on this topic in BIG part 4.

Big take away, "Conflict inevitable, combat optional". Watch this video for a laugh: