Now, I'm aware enough that the "pride of life" is a core temptation and struggle for all, and part of our sin nature. However, I thought I'd share briefly why I don't personalize Lifehouse "success" or anything else "big" that happens with my life.
Six and half years ago, at the lowest point in my ministry life, I felt like a failure and wanted out of ministry all together. I was leading a prayer time in my home, when I felt God speak to my heart,
"Patrick, do you believe I (God) can do something great with your life?"
It was the word "great" that scared me, and my response was, "Honestly God, NO, I don't."
Immediately, God stirred my heart with these words, "You are not doubting your abilities, but Mine (God's)." Ouch! I got the point and responded,
"Far be it from me to question Your power or plan. God, if you desire to little or much with me, small or great, I will obey and be Your servant."
So, when small or great things happen through my life for God's Kingdom, I remember nearly immediately and everytime a moment in life, when I genuinely had no self-esteem or confidence, and fully realize that I am walking in God-esteem. I know that God can do whatever He wants through whoever He wants whenever He wants. I continue to desire to be fully obedient to God regardless of whether His plans for my life are "small" or "great".
Regarding "greatness", I'm also aware that God doesn't measure it as we do. God said the last would be first, servant would be master, and least would be greatest. So, who am I to judge what parts of my ministry life are truly "great" and which only look great through a worldly perspective. My desire is to only desire to be "great" in God's eyes.
When others see my life, may their response be, "ONLY GOD!" That's the only comment I care to hear.
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